What would you do?

     I mentioned in one of my previous blogs that I have had struggles with memory. It goes much further and deeper than I first described. I will not bore you with all the details, but this has been so overwhelming in the past few days that I feel I need to blog about it. I advise you to read someone else's blog today I am sure theirs will be more helpful and interesting.
     Because of an illness that I am trying to deal with, some days I have trouble remembering even what my class schedule is (I only have four classes MWF from 12-4). I am lost in a fog of confusion, doubt and panic. In addition, from time to time I have seizure like attacks. So the other day, after having a day of horrors in which this went on and on until I felt like my head had gone through a blender, I decided I had better get to bed early and look forward to a better day. The thing is, when I woke up, everything was gone. My memory palaces were gone. Most of the work I had done this semester was gone. Now, I can't panic when this happens, usually I just let it pass and things come back. The problem is I have two papers due this week, and I am trying to get everything back in order. It's like an earthquake came and leveled my memory universe.
     When this happened I thought about giving up everything. What was left? I may as well try again next semester right? Then as things cleared little by little, I thought about how to build the memories and that since they are in there somewhere I just need to revisit them. I also remembered Dr Sexson The Wise (Playdough even though it is implying Plato does not do him justice. Enoch would work with his name somehow perhaps since he must have walked with god to have the broad and unique insight he possesses. However, I think Dr Sexson The Wise works nicely). Now do you know why I am thought of as meandering? Anyway, I remembered Dr Sexson quoting my blog in which I stated "I can do it". So, I decided to rebuild from the rubble and move ahead. The thing is, this system is what will make it happen. Honestly, even as much as I love to read and I am fascinated by the world views I am studying, I don't have time to reread and relearn enough to write these two papers. But you see, I don't have to. Even though I have to look at my memory maps and re-cement the details, it's all there. These maps are the way to my palaces. My palaces are like my lighthouses; they are shining beacons through the fog and helping me to get back what I thought I had lost.
     So, the plan is to revisit my maps, write my papers, then begin re-reading. I have to go back over Yates and Ong, but I think that as I accomplish more I will begin to remember more. So, if I seem a bit lost for a few days, I am. I don't really know what else to say, except....I can do it.
     Before I end, I must sincerely thank Rio for posting the classes on the net. You have no idea how much you have helped me.